1. June 15th this belt was on notch 1. 

It is now on notch 4.
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    June 15th this belt was on notch 1.

    It is now on notch 4.

  2. Decided to kick up to 1.5 mile runs for training. A slow and steady run to match the gradual increase of mileage. 
I’m building a foundation and purposefully not pushing to marathon training. I want to get back to loving the run rather than dreading it.
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    Decided to kick up to 1.5 mile runs for training. A slow and steady run to match the gradual increase of mileage. 

    I’m building a foundation and purposefully not pushing to marathon training. I want to get back to loving the run rather than dreading it.

  3. July 15th: Weigh Day
July 15th: 325.0
July 1st: 329
June 15th: 344
Down 19 pounds and running faster each day.
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    July 15th: Weigh Day

    • July 15th: 325.0
    • July 1st: 329
    • June 15th: 344

    Down 19 pounds and running faster each day.

  4. Once a week I run the mile at absolute max effort to gauge my progress. Last night was me breaking 9 minutes for the first time this go ‘round. 
Not bad for 325+ pounds but still a long way to go. 
Proud that my final lap was my fastest lap. 
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    Once a week I run the mile at absolute max effort to gauge my progress. Last night was me breaking 9 minutes for the first time this go ‘round. 

    Not bad for 325+ pounds but still a long way to go. 

    Proud that my final lap was my fastest lap. 

  5. Depression and me in the always-online generation.

    Over the years that I’ve written on this blog, I’ve talked about my history with what I called, and still to this day call, depression. It was 2007 and 2008. I kept myself hidden away in my bedroom, skipped a lot of class, and just generally felt sad most of the time. It was, what I assumed, what depression was: an overwhelming sense of helplessness, anger, and apathy. As I look back to that time and to stints over the last six years, I wonder if it was actually depression or if it was what I’ve come to call

    "Obese, bored, lonely, and addicted to the Internet."

    Certainly depression is a real, certifiable thing, but I have a nagging suspicion that sometimes when the word gets thrown around it’s a self diagnosis that can actually be attributed to our own self loathing, embarrassment to be seen in public and envy as we watch our friends live lives online that make our own look truly lackluster. 

    I came to hate people I once considered friends and watched incessantly with animosity at each new picture and video they uploaded. The jealousy I had as I looked at their perfect bodies was only matched by the insecurity I felt with my own. Why would I do that? Why would anyone do that? And it compounds on itself. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook. F5, F5, F5, F5.

    Obese, bored, lonely, and addicted to the Internet.

    Falling behind, avoiding friends, living in a dark room, and eating fast food exclusively. It was, no doubt, a truly depressing existence; but was it actually depression?

    I have my doubts. Because as soon as I dragged myself from the house and went for a walk around campus, or played racquetball with Jed, or hiked up the local mountain, the suffocating blanket was removed. And once I got serious about life and living better, it was gone permanently. Well, until I fell into old habits. And maybe that’s the difference. Depression, it seems, doesn’t shake off like that. It’s a long constant battle. I was quick to diagnose myself and, frankly, feel sorry for myself when I might have just been trying to justify a shitty way of living. 

  6. ESPN the Magazine, Body Issue: Ben Does Life version.
Prince Fielder style. 
1 mile run: 10 minutes
10 minute elliptical
4 cups of ice water
So hot outside. 
"You don’t have to look like an Under Armour mannequin to be an athlete. Just because you’re big doesn’t mean you can’t be an athlete and just because you work out doesn’t mean you’re going to have a 12-pack."
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    ESPN the Magazine, Body Issue: Ben Does Life version.

    Prince Fielder style

    • 1 mile run: 10 minutes
    • 10 minute elliptical
    • 4 cups of ice water

    So hot outside. 

    "You don’t have to look like an Under Armour mannequin to be an athlete. Just because you’re big doesn’t mean you can’t be an athlete and just because you work out doesn’t mean you’re going to have a 12-pack."

  7. If a genie gave me three wishes.

    1. One trillion dollars.

    2. Ability to teleport.

    3. Permanently look like I do when I see myself in a long vertical mirror.

  8. Heavy person’s worst nightmare. Flimsy plastic patio chairs with sides. 

Please don’t shatter. Please stop cutting into my hips.
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    Heavy person’s worst nightmare. Flimsy plastic patio chairs with sides.

    Please don’t shatter. Please stop cutting into my hips.

  9. 9 minutes and 9 seconds for my mile tonight at 100% effort. 
Far cry from my fastest ever (6:05 in 2009) but solid for me at 329 pounds. 
I will continue running a mile a day to build my foundation.
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    9 minutes and 9 seconds for my mile tonight at 100% effort. 

    Far cry from my fastest ever (6:05 in 2009) but solid for me at 329 pounds. 

    I will continue running a mile a day to build my foundation.

  10. In my attempt to find a local track, I found a local high school that has been abandoned. Boarded up windows and barbed wire around the track. It’ll do.
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    In my attempt to find a local track, I found a local high school that has been abandoned. Boarded up windows and barbed wire around the track. It’ll do.