Commit to your short runs with as much devotion as your long run and vice versa.
Linkin Park featuring Jay-Z.
Buy your bus driver a coffee every once in a while.
Hydrate even when you’re not running.
Nip-guards.
When K.Ci. and Jo-Jo is playing at the skating rink in 6th grade, don’t skate up to Mallory Higgins and ask her to be your girlfriend. She will say no and you will spend the rest of the night in the corner crying. It’s kind of pathetic.
Set realistic goals.
Get fitted for shoes at your local running store. No two feet are the same.
Keep your toenails short; they will be less likely to fall off if they are short. And your cuddle buddy will thank you (fewer accidental scratchings).
Always speed up when a member of the opposite sex runs by.
Always stop to pet the dogs.
If you happen to walk by a car parked at a meter and it’s about to expire, throw a quarter in.
Y=MX+B
Increase your distance by 10% each week at most.
Stretch.
But, if you’re a dude, wear stretch-appropriate shorts.
Rollerblading is cooler than people admit.
YES IT IS.
Always take at least one day of rest. Don’t overtrain.
Saying “just sayin’” at the end of your sentences is starting to get annoying. It had a nice run. Let it go.
RICE method! Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevators. Take the elevator.
If you’re running with a partner and you’re faster than him, you have an obligation to stick together. If you’re slower than him, put laxatives in the jerk’s oatmeal. lol.
