My favorite teacher at UCA is Francie Bolter. I’ve known her for two years, having taken several of her classes, and she’s been somewhat of a mentor to me in regards to my writing. This semester I have her for Creative Non-fiction and last week she e-mailed me to let me know that I have exhausted all my absences and that the next one would result in a letter-grade drop of my final grade. This was before I knew I would be going to Boston and missing class, so I just figured I would attend the remaining four classes. Then I had to go to Massachusetts so I emailed her explaining the circumstances and pleading her not to drop my final grade.

Here is her response:

Ben,

You’ve figured out, I think, that I’m not the most rule-bound person in the world, that on occasion, I say “screw the rules” and simply do what I think is right.

The opportunity you describe would certainly be for me one of those occasions. In fact, I’m really glad you chose to run the Boston over class on Tuesday. It’s far more meaningful—we both know that—and the chance that these particular and outrageously beautiful planets will line up again is almost nil. Way to go.

Having said that, I’ll also say this: The only way to break the rules without looking like a loser is to follow them most of the time. By establishing that you’re characteristically honorable, you can ask that your judgment be honored when you determine that the rule(s) should be broken.

Two years ago, I’d say you had yet to establish a personal code of behavior, an internal compass that you consulted for direction and decision. But I said last spring that I saw signs of an evolving Ben, a person who was making conscious decisions about who he was and what he wanted.

Then eight months later, you showed up in Creative Non-fiction, an even more changed Ben. Okay, not completely changed. You still struggle getting in homework. And yes, you should have left yourself an absence to spend. But I believe—I really do—that you’re an even different man now than you were a year ago. And not just different: better. And because you are, you give me the room to honor your judgment.

Thanks for that. Really :)

Hope you have a great run.

Stay well—
Dr Bolter

One of the best e-mails I’ve ever received. Affirmation always feels good.